Been awhile. Things are cool, just released the EP a week or so ago. I'm still de-stressing... not so successfully. Every record pretty much destroys me. I consider myself pretty mentally durable, but finishing my records breaks me down. My girl says I need a vacation and she's right. I might take one after the Monterey release party. She's so sweet for telling me that. She suggested I take a few days to myself in a cabin somewhere and just sleep and get some real R&R. I'm probably driving her nuts, I get so obsessive and one-track minded. It's hard to wind down and be normal.
           Bumped into Chuck Billy today and had a good talk about getting my bands business tight. He's the fuckin man, cool ass dude. Can't wait to see his band live. Live 105 played a song off Familiar Company last night, it was awesome to hear it on the radio. I walked around Lake Merritt and tried to handle all the chores and errands I have to do. Pretty good day. Oh yea, Half Moon Bay was awesome saturday night. Badass crowd. I was very drunk during the show. Thats real rare, I prefer to be sober during performances, I think its more real and authentic. But god damn, it's fun to liquor up and rock too. So fun. OPL is always a good time and they treat me real well.
Hope you are well in this moment, if you've read this I have blown you a kiss from afar....

It's been too long since my last confession. Today I am struggling to get my day started, I need coffee. My sister made me cookies and I feel sick from eating too many. I'm a sucker for peanut butter cookies. I was going to leave for the studio earlier but have been sitting here watching actors acceptance speeches on youtube and getting misty. Warm and fuzzies.  What the fuck am i doing! I need to go bite into this day and take advantage of the good weather. Tomorrow morning I am having a reunion with my high school band. It's been 15 years since we have all been in the same room. This band is probably the reason I do what i do and I can't wait to jam. 

see ya

It's been a week since my last confession. Did a bunch of work in the studio today. I played the piano and sang a new song on my camera, I'm going to upload to youtube soon. I'm focused on writing and recording the new album. If I keep up this pace there will be a new record in no time. Really loving the piano. I am exhausted. Shouldn't even have bothered typing this thing. 

Hello Diary

Wrote lyrics this morning then went to my friend Judy's house. She's making me a custom FD ring. So dope. She's very talented. Judith Hoff Brooks is her name and her brand. After that I went to the dog park with Paige. A dude there recognized me as a singer and said hi. That was cool, he said he was a big fan, he was nice and his dog was cool too. He told me a couple years ago he was a bit of a groupie and came to lots of shows. I asked why he stopped….haha, it was kind of funny. There was a cute little pit there and I was asking who's dog it was. Turns out it was nobody's dog. We took her home for a bit and fed her and gave her water and let her play with Mickey. She was so sweet. We decided to take her to the animal spot where her owner may look for her. I left the animal control people my number and told them not to kill her. I said call me before that happens and I'll find her a home.
Tomorrow we have some big shot industry people coming to our practice to see about us. Interesting, they seem really cool too.  We all talked about it as a band last night. Someone said something that sounded nervous, then Nick said "they're pursuing us." I liked that. I added that we are gold, and they are gold miners. There's a million gold miners, not a lot of gold.  I feel like Doogie Howzer.  Good Nite


 

Hey Diary

I just bit my tongue really hard.  Some blood. Shitty.  Amazing amazing amazing practice tonight.  New shit is outlandish.  I CANT FUCKIN WAIT TO PLAY THIS SHIT LIVE

Made some good money today, that's always nice. Justifies my keyboard purchases. My new keys are the shit. Yamaha CP-33. I should keep this a secret, but I'll say it here. It's MAGIC.  Feels like a real piano and it's got real thunder.  I'm writing a lot. So nice, and so puzzling and gratifying. Tonight we talked about how people are probably being tortured somewhere tonight.  Grim.  I don't know why we spoke of that. I should mention I'm high.  Weed to be specific. I'm not an everyday puffer, but once in a while I smoke in creative situations. (I have a CARD for all you cops out there:) Shit's legal now anyway. 
Now what do i say, I just outed myself. I guess I'll throw in the towel on today's entry. 

My favorite breakfast right now is Brown Sugar Kitchens pork hash with a biscuit. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

I decided to sleep in today.  I was supposed to go to the studio today at ten to record something, but decided I'd rather play piano.  I had a weird  day.  Depressed I guess.  I was making up really sad music.  I decided  to  walk to a coffee shop.  I brought headphones to play the music I was making up while I walked.  I haven't listened to music in public in a long time, since high school i think.  It is quite a disconnect from the world.  It made everything real poetic and pretty, but I don't like it after all, and won't be making a habit out of it. When I got to the coffee shop I decided I no longer felt like coffee and walked back home.  Sweet. Like I said, weird mood today. I came back and made some words to it, and I came up with a chorus that I love.  After I sang the chorus a hundred times I felt a lot better. I grabbed mickey and took him to my neighborhood dog park.  It brings me a lot of happiness watching him run and play with other dogs.  He is very sensitive to my music.  I have two sad songs that he howls to when he hears them.  Its crazy, literally every time he hears it.  He doesn't like his daddy sad, it makes him sad too.  He's my heart.  He likes the song I made today.  He rested his head close to my keyboard to watch and listen  I took a picture, I'll put it below.  I'm happy I made a new song and that it had the power to turn my day around.  

Goodnite

Dear DIary,

INCREDIBLE practice tonight. All that shit I wrote yesterday sounds so good with the band. It's really haunting and pretty. Best practice in years, I can't wait to record it and play them live. The band sounds SO good, some amazing musicianship on these new tracks. That's 3 new songs for the next record almost finished. I have a bunch in the pipeline too. I'm thrilled to feel like this is some of my best work. We are going to try and not play any of the new shit live until the record drops.  Fans of our live show have known all the songs before the records have come out. Except FULU. Whoa, I've been trying different breakfast places based on this thread I started on Facebook and I ran into the dude with no legs that danced at my show last saturday!! Fucking crazy.  I asked him if he was down to do a video, he said yea.  He told me he's done Tosh.0.  Nice guy, great taste in breakfast restaurants. Place is Cafe M in Berkeley.  He danced at my show in concord, small worlds. After that Paige and I took Mickey to Point Isabel. Love it there. Gave him a bath after and now he is even more huggable. Sweetest, best dog I've ever had. I'm exhausted.  Goodnite

Dear Diary,

I ate too much today. I feel fat as fuck.  Time to get active again.  I quit smoking and lost 50 pounds in the beginning of last year.  Since then I've gained 35 back and started smoking again. SHIT.  Had a great time at my dad's birthday hang.  We got good BBQ and I bought him ROKU so they can watch Netflix and all that.  I've been writing a bunch.  THANK GOD.  I bought a really nice keyboard for home and that has been amazing.  I'm writing really pretty piano music, finishing lyrics, and making new sections to songs I need to finish.  I feel fucking great when I am writing.  When I am not, I feel incomplete and not productive.  It's a little frightening sometimes, knowing I'm just waiting for music to come to me and generally don't force it.  It's like the rain this year.  All I can do is hope it rains, and be there with a few buckets to catch some for myself.  I think I will always have a fear of losing this channel of creativity.  I've asked some really talented friends of mine if they ever worry about it. They say no. I wonder if they are being honest. Damn, they probably are.  Good for them though.  I guess I just kind of feel like it doesn't even come from me sometimes.  Like its a ghost that visits me and one day they'll vanish and leave me alone. But by then I will have no idea what to do with myself.  I love thinking about what I'd do though too.  Would I become a firefighter? A politician and really try to change the world? There's an infinite amount of things to do and for the last 15-20 years i've been all consumed with music.  I always thought I'd be famous, and travel the world rocking fat crowds.  Do I still think that? I don't know.  I don't care as much. I've just surrendered to doing what I do and appreciating what I have.  Which is a rich life, a great band, and amazing fans.

Dear Diary,

I went to a breakfast place recommended by someone on Facebook today.  It was good, really good.  Paige really liked it too.  From there I went to the studio and wrote some nice lyrics to a song I've been working on.  I needed two more verses and I wrote one and a half.  Pretty fucking close. The song is going to be called "the most fucked up person i know".   After that was band practice, which was cool because we were able to rehearse and learn the stuff I had just written.  My verse is really hard rhythmically.  It'll be easy peezy by tomorrow though.  We worked on only new material tonight, which is so nice.  We usually are rehearsing for a show and don't make new shit a priority. Plus Nate hasn't been drumming long in this group, so it's been SUPER important to go over the old shit as much as we can. After that, Nate, Nick and I went to watch Nick's friend play hockey in downtown Oakland.  I had a great time.  Hockey is pretty rad.  They tied. Ties are lame in sports.  Afterwards we waited outside for Max and we felt like groupies as the players left the building.  It was funny.  I'm home now, and I am going to watch something on TV and go to bed. It's my Dads birthday tomorrow. I have to go buy a present in the morning and hopefully finish that song too. What else…..my sister is dating some wacko shithead but ended it finally I hope. Thats another story…..

Love,
Forrest

Dear Diary,

Today was alright.  Ran errands mostly and then bought my sister a birthday present. She couldn't believe I brought over wrapped gifts and a card.  The trick is to go to gift shops I guess, cause they wrapped them for me, and I looked really responsible and caring.  I am caring, I just don't always show it in the way people ( girls) want me to. Went to a nice dinner at Scoma's with my family.  Actually the place has gone down hill.  The chowder isn't the best anymore. And the fish was overcooked.  Tonight was the 1st time I've ever been paranoid about radiation in my fish. I've never really tripped on it, not on mercury either.  Whatever. My pants feel tight today too, fuck. Time to get active. Spencer and I are gonna play basketball on wednesday.  I have to get my cardio going or I'm literally going to die during a performance. I explained it to someone recently, I spend 90 minutes hyperventilating every time we play.  My flows are so long sometimes that it's a real fight to keep it going with my heart rate up.  I think even someone in great shape would have a hell of a time doing what I do.  Sometimes I think about all the brain cells I must be killing at every show.  Maybe that's why I feel retarded most the time.  I feel inspired.  I feel hopeful again too. It's been awhile.  This business can be exhausting and so discouraging at times.  It's easy to get jaded.  I feel a great sense of relief to have a positive outlook on my career again.  I have to just keep on doing it. I'll always do it.  I surrendered a long time ago to the fact that music is not a choice for me.  It's just what I do.  And every dog has it's day.  And shit, I've had some great days, shows and experiences I'll never forget. I'm so thankful for what we have. The best, most passionate fan base I could ever ask for.  The sense that I have truly shared myself with people, and that they feel me and send me love back is something I will never take for granted. We are all fucking crazy. It's beautiful.  We just have to accept each other. We shouldn't need anyone to be anything other than what they are, or that's on us. 

Love,                                               
Forrest



Shopping for my sister