Dear Diary,
I ate too much today. I feel fat as fuck. Time to get active again. I quit smoking and lost 50 pounds in the beginning of last year. Since then I've gained 35 back and started smoking again. SHIT. Had a great time at my dad's birthday hang. We got good BBQ and I bought him ROKU so they can watch Netflix and all that. I've been writing a bunch. THANK GOD. I bought a really nice keyboard for home and that has been amazing. I'm writing really pretty piano music, finishing lyrics, and making new sections to songs I need to finish. I feel fucking great when I am writing. When I am not, I feel incomplete and not productive. It's a little frightening sometimes, knowing I'm just waiting for music to come to me and generally don't force it. It's like the rain this year. All I can do is hope it rains, and be there with a few buckets to catch some for myself. I think I will always have a fear of losing this channel of creativity. I've asked some really talented friends of mine if they ever worry about it. They say no. I wonder if they are being honest. Damn, they probably are. Good for them though. I guess I just kind of feel like it doesn't even come from me sometimes. Like its a ghost that visits me and one day they'll vanish and leave me alone. But by then I will have no idea what to do with myself. I love thinking about what I'd do though too. Would I become a firefighter? A politician and really try to change the world? There's an infinite amount of things to do and for the last 15-20 years i've been all consumed with music. I always thought I'd be famous, and travel the world rocking fat crowds. Do I still think that? I don't know. I don't care as much. I've just surrendered to doing what I do and appreciating what I have. Which is a rich life, a great band, and amazing fans.
I ate too much today. I feel fat as fuck. Time to get active again. I quit smoking and lost 50 pounds in the beginning of last year. Since then I've gained 35 back and started smoking again. SHIT. Had a great time at my dad's birthday hang. We got good BBQ and I bought him ROKU so they can watch Netflix and all that. I've been writing a bunch. THANK GOD. I bought a really nice keyboard for home and that has been amazing. I'm writing really pretty piano music, finishing lyrics, and making new sections to songs I need to finish. I feel fucking great when I am writing. When I am not, I feel incomplete and not productive. It's a little frightening sometimes, knowing I'm just waiting for music to come to me and generally don't force it. It's like the rain this year. All I can do is hope it rains, and be there with a few buckets to catch some for myself. I think I will always have a fear of losing this channel of creativity. I've asked some really talented friends of mine if they ever worry about it. They say no. I wonder if they are being honest. Damn, they probably are. Good for them though. I guess I just kind of feel like it doesn't even come from me sometimes. Like its a ghost that visits me and one day they'll vanish and leave me alone. But by then I will have no idea what to do with myself. I love thinking about what I'd do though too. Would I become a firefighter? A politician and really try to change the world? There's an infinite amount of things to do and for the last 15-20 years i've been all consumed with music. I always thought I'd be famous, and travel the world rocking fat crowds. Do I still think that? I don't know. I don't care as much. I've just surrendered to doing what I do and appreciating what I have. Which is a rich life, a great band, and amazing fans.
